Need a home? Need some help? Go Go Mortgage Loan!
This is Chief Quimby from HQ, and we have a new mission for you. Our informants tell us Dr. Claw has been getting his evil clutches wrapped around mortgages once again- the financial tools you, me, and everyone else depends on to finance our homes. Make no mistake, this time Claw means business, and he has already driven rates, prices, costs and fees - now this is no mistake - lower. People are getting home loans so easily these days its almost too easy, and we want you to get the bottom of things!
Your mission if you so choose it is to infiltrate the very workings of a mortgage, find out everything you possibly can. We need to know how these things work, how Claw and his Mortgage Assassins can provide a home loan at 5%, 4%, even 3% APR. In short, we need to know exactly how and why rates are so low today, and what that means for the general citizenry and their precarious home equity. So do your thing. Oh, you know what I'm talking about - that Go Go Mortgage Loan thingy you do oh so well and I oh so hate to hear you shout. You're giving the department a bad name as of late, missed your last few assignments, haven't even showed up to work since 1983, but we need your help and we need it now. So do what you do and get to the bottom of these home loans!
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